Getting from point A to point B

I was driving down the road the other day with a friend who was lamenting about “feeling fat” and not being able to get a handle on her diet. She said to me, “What’s wrong with me, Lori?” I replied, “You don’t want it bad enough.” I offered to her the suggestion that maybe she wasn’t “unhappy enough” to make the tough changes she needed to make to get to where she wanted to be.

And I really meant it. Sounds harsh, but it’s the absolute truth. We are all capable of getting to where we want to be if we’re willing to get through the “whatever it takes” to get there. At the heart of it, we’re okay with where we’re at, or we’d change it, right?

That simplifies things to an extreme, I realize this. And I’m not suggesting for a moment that I don’t get it. I do. I’m not immune to having similar feelings. There are many things I say I wish were different, or I want to accomplish – but what am I actually doing to bring about this change? I think we all wish that “wishing” would make our goals or dreams come true.

I want to be a better runner. I really do. It irritates me that I should be a better runner. So what should I do? Run more. What do I do? Avoid it like the plague. And yet, I still sit and tell myself that I wish I was better. It’s ridiculous. It’s obvious that I want it, but not bad enough to make it happen.

Maybe not trying goes much deeper than “it’s too hard.” Maybe we don’t believe in ourselves. We don’t believe that we can ever get to where we want to be. The possibility exists that no matter how hard we try, we won’t reach our goal. We won’t get what we want. It’s overwhelming, seemingly insurmountable. Or maybe we doubt that the road to getting there, all of the sacrifices, will be worth it in the end. We do know with certainty that it will be long and hard. So to avoid trying, we say things like “Well, it’s not so bad. I’m pretty okay.” Or there is my favorite question, “Where does my quality of life factor in?” Well, maybe if you’re quality of life equation includes weekly cheeseburgers and fries, than being super-lean may not be a possibility in your world. And it brings me back to. . . “You don’t want it bad enough.” Apply the sentiment to whatever you want, it makes sense.

It’s easier to never really try. Then we didn’t fail. We didn’t even get that far. Is failure harder to swallow then choosing to not go there at all? For most of us, we’d answer a resounding, yes. We’d prefer not having to acknowledge our failures. Failure sucks.

So do we choose to hover above all of things we truly want because the path is challenging? Gosh, I hope not. I don’t want to live like that. I want to have the courage to jump in with both feet, give it my all and pray that I have what it takes to reach my final goal. I want to have faith in myself and believe that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to. It’s what I want my children to believe.

What do you want? What do you want bad enough to go through pain and possible failure to try and get to? Do you want something that is worth suffering for, until it gets easier? Maybe the really, really hard changes are the ones that will bring the greatest positive outcomes to your life. I don’t know. That will be for you and I to find out. . . if we so choose.